Is it possible for a brother whose home is in disorder to be an elder?

Is it possible for a brother whose home is in disorder to be an elder?

No. "If a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God" (1 Timothy 3:5)? The answer appears to be straightforward, but applying this requires spiritual wisdom. Maturing children bear responsibility for their own choices. Their wrong choices may or may not reflect the failure of their father to properly lead, care for, give attention to, or protect (meanings of "rule") them. Spiritual believers will seek help from God to graciously decide this without favoritism, self-interest, or bias.

The case of a brother separated from his wife and family may be clearer. Without putting an unfair burden on a brother in this heart-rending and difficult situation, the Bible teaches that his leadership both as husband and father places on him the responsibility for right relationships with his wife and children. Despite severe difficulties, this responsibility cannot be ignored. As in every circumstance of a Christian’s life, we regard our burdens as part of our Father’s "child-training" (Hebrews 12:4-11). For a brother to give up his responsibility in such a case will limit what his Father plans to accomplish in his spiritual development. The possibility exists that spiritually wise men who are close to the situation may sense that the grace of God has worked in this brother to a sufficiently remarkable degree and that he is qualified to be an overseer, but they must not make this decision lightly or hastily or out of pity or because of the likeable personality of the separated brother.

D. Oliver