Should a girl ask a guy to date her or wait for him to make the first move?

Should a female initiate a romantic relationship or lead during the courtship?

Feminism and society in general do not provide reliable guidance in this matter, but scriptural principles do. Courtship is a special time when a couple forms the framework of their marriage relationship. They are getting to know one another differently and more deeply than they did before. This is the time for the man to inspire his prospective wife’s confidence in his leadership; she learns to trust him because his decisions are for their mutual benefit and she learns to communicate with him in these vital matters. This is likewise the time for the woman to cultivate respect for her prospective husband’s leadership; he learns that she expects and accepts his leadership and that he can openly communicate his feelings regard -ing these issues. A couple makes a mistake to proceed with their relationship if both are not open and mutually comfortable regarding these matters.

A sister initiating the relationship starts the relationship "on the wrong foot." If she has to lead at this point, won’t she have to lead throughout the relationship? Eventually this arrangement will not be fulfilling for her or her partner, nor will it fulfill the biblical model.

Maintaining this principle may be understandably frustrating to a sister. Among several reasons for this, these may present the greatest difficulties: some brothers seem to enjoy the self-gratification of being pursued by women; some seem to have forgotten that beauty of character is more valuable than physical adornment and therefore hardly seem to notice godly sisters who have chosen to avoid worldly means of exploiting physical attractiveness. Despite all of this, prayerfully maintaining God’s ways is always best.

D. Oliver