Should I share with my wife confidential information about another believer?

Could confidentiality require a brother who gives spiritual help to another believer to withhold some information from his own spouse?

The talebearer who reveals secrets ("secret counsels," YLT) is contrasted with a faithful or trustworthy person who keeps the matter covered (Proverbs 11:13). By disclosing either matters that he has agreed to keep secret or information that in any way harms the believer he is ostensibly helping, an individual proves himself unworthy of the confidence placed in him.

If others (elders, for example) should be aware of what was said in confidence, the person who has been entrusted with that information should insist that either his informant disclose the matter or grant him permission to do so.

On occasion, when helping a sister, a man may need to insist that his wife will also be aware of what has been discussed. This strengthens his wifes confidence in him, protects the sister from any sense of impropriety, and preserves his integrity (Romans 12:17). If his wife cannot be trusted with such confidences, the man is likely disqualified from giving such help (1 Timothy 3:11).

D. Oliver