- Parent Category: History
- Category: Personal Stories
- Published on Saturday, 01 July 2006 11:56
I was raised a devout Lutheran and was very active in the church. When I met Roger, my husband to be, he told me he was “saved”. I had never heard the word before and asked him, “How can you be so sure?” I had thought we could only “hope” to go to heaven. He told me how he was saved and that was the end of it for a time.
After we got married, we both agreed we would not attend church since we had different views. I was sad to leave the Lutherans as I thought they were right. However, I was content to leave things as they were. Then slowly, through contacts at work, I got into a bad crowd of “friends”. Sad to say my good life as a Lutheran did not preserve me from evil. I found myself immersed in the whole 1970’s rock and roll scene. The music intrigued me with questions about life, etc. I got so hooked that I remember one day playing my guitar, looking up to heaven, and saying, “If there is a God, I want to know Him.” What a change from my religious upbringing! I had been denying I believed in God at all through this period of time. Finally, my so-called friend asked me to leave my husband and go live in a commune in Oregon. I knew then that I had gone way too far. This really scared me.
At the same time, I became pregnant with our first child. It made me have a complete turnaround as I faced the responsibility of the new life I was bringing into the world. I began to make plans for the child. At the same time, Roger started going back to the Gospel Hall. He had been away for years. Since we had both agreed not go anywhere, I became furious to think that he “could go to his church” but I could not “go to mine.” I felt that in the past, I had been much more religious than him. At that point, Roger would not let me go back to the Lutherans. He told me their doctrine was bad and that it would lead people to hell. This made me mad as well.
Roger continued going to the Gospel Hall every Sunday night. Since we had always done things together, it was upsetting to sit at home while he was at church. Finally one Sunday night, I consented to go. I do not remember a word that was said except that the Christians were very friendly. On the way home, Roger said to me, “You say you care about that baby you are going to have. Well, if you do not get saved you will hinder that child from hearing the gospel and he could end up in hell.” These seem like harsh words, but they broke me down. I did not say a word, but knew then that my life was not right before God despite my turnaround. No good works or behavior will merit God’s favor.
I went to work each day after that, burdened about how I could be saved. I realized I could do nothing to save myself. I tried to believe, but it did not come to me. I struggled with faith because I thought I had had faith earlier in my life. Finally after four days of inward struggle, it dawned upon my dark soul that He simply died on the cross FOR ME. On August 23,1973, the promise of eternal life was mine and I laid hold of it.
When we went to the morning worship a couple weeks later, I cried tears of joy as I thought of how He had died for me and suffered such agony. Oh, the joy of a newborn in Christ! Have you been born-again?